was working out the other day, and listening to Tom Waits. I started thinking how great it would be if the devil’s voice sounded like Tom Waits when you went to hell. (I’m not a big believer in hell, but I really think you are selling yourself short by ruling that place out.) Anywho, then I got to thinking about what the music in hell would be. My first thought waas that it would be some horrible cacophony, but then I realized that it would probably be a more personal experience. Which means it would probably be some music that I really hate. So I took a quick survey of the music I hate the most, and decided it would probably be some sort of death metal. Something like Pantera (And I don’t know anything about that music, so if Pantera is technically not death metal, I apologize.) So I think this sucks. Because I bet Pantera hopes their music gets played in hell. And I’m making that happen. Here, I would like to wipe that music off the face of the earth, and instead I am assuring it will go on until the end of time. Unless a) I don’t wind up in hell b) I am wrong about hell’s music or c) they don’t actually play music in hell. Now that I think about it, they probably don’t. And also, I think there is a chance Christian Rock would beat out death metal for my hell music. How ironic would that be? Michael W. Smith adding to my damnation. Hell seems like a bad place. They do specials about it on The History Channel all the time. It really looks lousy down there. It’s making me re-evaluate my beliefs. I have given myself 3 months to sort out my belief in hell. Then I’m going to do something about it. I don’t really care about Heaven. I’m sure it will be dissappointing like everything else that’s supposed to be great. One time Chelsey and Chuck and I went to Chicago. We looked forward to it for months in advance. It turned out to be a nightmare. That’s what heaven will be like for someone like me. Everyone will be happy, and I’ll be looking around and wondering why it’s not as good as I thought it was going to be. Getting back to the point. I have 3 months to decide about hell. Please feel free to forward me any information on the subject. However I will mostly be searching me heart and mind. I hope to have an answer by some time after the holidays.
Hell is other people’s music.
For more information on Pantera, I strongly reccommend this article.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantera
They’ve really been through a lot. Their guitarist was shot. I didn’t know that. I knew they had New Orleans ties, because I’ve been to their haunted house, but I did not know they ripped off some other NOLA band for their sound. Before that they were a glam band.
According to the article, they also have a “take no shit” attittude. Who would have thought? They also “put everyone on notice that [they] don’t fuck around.” I would like to put everyone on that notice too.
You don’t remember when Dimebag Darryl was killed? What a tragedy for the music industry.
I’m just plain putting everyone on notice. No qualifiers needed.
No I do not. As I said before, Pantera is my hell music. I try to aviod it. Other things having to do with hell conclude, but are not limited to:
1) Fancy Swords
2) Contacts that make your eyes look evil
3) Stores that sell fancy swords
4) Leather trenchcoats – this also feeds my Matrix aversion
5) People who say they are witches or vampires.
6) Cocaine
7) Rumplemintz
8) People with Black Beards
9) Dragons
10) Fluffy Shirts
Smiley Face with glasses! When will you let me out of your spell?
What about dental implants so that you look like a vampire? Will they be in hell?
Yes. So will leather pants. There will be leather pants everywhere, but only on those people who should never wear leather pants. Like Meatloaf.
Hell sounds like a gay goth party.
Talk about a reflexive statement.
Ah, Pantera. A Vulgar Display of Power was never off the tape player when I started my first programming job. Altogether now, 1,2,3….whooooooaaaaaaaahhhhhhh F**KING HOSTILE!!!!!!!!!
Were you wearing leather pants?
Only on special occasions.
Brent, you have too much time on your hands. David you just have problems.
Someone from Pantera is from Plano. If you want to see hell, go to Plano.
(Kent, again with the gay when you are insulting something. why? With the dawn of each morning, is the opportunity to better yourself…)
anthony anderson is scum
nothing like a good double post in the wrong thread
asshole
1) Fancy Swords = gay
2) Contacts that make your eyes look evil = goth
3) Stores that sell fancy swords = gay
4) Leather trenchcoats – this also feeds my Matrix aversion = goth
5) People who say they are witches or vampires = goth
6) Cocaine = gay
7) Rumplemintz = party
8) People with Black Beards = goth
9) Dragons = goth
10) Fluffy Shirts = gay
therefore
gay goth party
i wasn’t insulting anyone or anything. i was saying that brent’s description of hell sounds like a party for goth homosexuals. why do you keep picking on me? i do have feelings, you know, despite what they say in the newspapers.
What is/are Rumplemintz?
Fancy swords are more goth than gay.
Rumplemintz are schnapps that have an evil looking bottle. They have ad campaigns like this
Kent – Please fix this if it doesn’t work
fancy swords isn’t a metaphor?
No. I’m talking about things like these.
Sold at places like this.
http://www.badgerblades.com/html/buy_a_sword.html
Swords, metal and homo-eroticism? Look no further than Manowar:
Fancy swords aren’t gay or goth, but geek. Although the three aren’t necessarily exclusive.
That AS-2603 is pretty sweet. I bet you could get all sorts of tail at the SCA fairs with that one!
Manowar scares me.
I’m going to lock down commenting on this thread if you people don’t stop posting these pictures.
Is posting pictures bad?
Maybe Kent has a problem with swords and fantasy metal warriors.
Kent, maybe you should replace “gay” with “fantasy metal warriors”
Instead of calling your friends gay, you can call them all fantasy metal warriors.
Amber is a fantasy metal warrior.