Author: Kent

Dear Atlanta Citizen,

We regret to inform you that you cannot purchase a house within the city limits, due to the following regrettable factors:

  1. You want to live inside the Perimeter.
  2. You don’t want to pay more than you can afford.
  3. You want to be able to get to public transportation.
  4. You want to take advantage of government-funded first-time homebuyer’s downpayment assistance.
  5. You don’t want to get shot.
  6. You want the house to be in liveable condition.

Please remedy one of more of these requirements, and we will most certainly reconsider your future with us.

In the meantime, we suggest you try Cobb or Gwinnett counties.  We hear that Applebee’s is a great place to hang out on the weekends, and that racism is still in style there.

Yours truly, and go fuck yourself,

The City of Atlanta

Train kept a-rollin’

In keeping with the current trend of how things are going in my life, I was almost hit by a car this morning.  I know some of you have walked around with me, and know that I have a thing about enforcing the sanctity of crosswalks, but in this case, I was on sidewalk, and some lady turned into the driveway behind the Biltmore without looking.

Starting your day off by shouting a string of obscenities at the back of a car is not part of a balanced breakfast.

On behalf of pedestrians everywhere, if you are driving today, don’t be an asshole.

All that hate\'s gonna eat you up inside