Category: General

General posts.

What they pulled out of my nose today.

Splints

These plastic things are what the doctor pulled out of my nose today. He affectionately refered to them as “hardware.” Doctors are funny.

The matchbook is there to give you an idea of their size. They are about two and a half inches long and an inch tall. They felt like they were 3 feet long and a foot tall when they were coming out. They were stictched into my nose with a single stitch that went through both pieces and the middle of my nose. I should put a post in there before the hole heals up and save myself the trouble of a nose piercing later on.

Hooray for science!

Baseball All Star Game = Grilling and Beer = Guns Shooting in Air

 

Bo Jackson: Badassboggs_wade_1.jpgburt.jpg

I watch the All-Star game every year.  I always hope it’s gonna be like that one where Bo Jackson hits the homer, and then Wade Boggs homers right after that.  I remember that one like it was yesterday.  My uncle jack was there.  Bo Jackson was a badass.  And he had the best shoe.  Many people don’t realize he invented those cross trainers himself.  Then he got fat, and tried to sell power bars.  He also ran over Brian Bosworth, which was one of the greatest things that has ever happened ever.  Wade Boggs was a cheeseball.  I hate him.  One thing that you find out when you get older is that all the guys who wore cheesy mustaches in the 80’s really were cheeseballs.  They weren’t just victims of the time.  Mike Schmidt is another example.  I’m sure Tom Selek is a dope too.  And I think Burt Reynolds’ cheesiness is well documented from his time on Win, Lose or Draw.  Maybe it’s not the mustaches though.  Maybe it’s the matching gold chain.  Or maybe it’s a convertable thing.  I will never know, because I’m too busy with other stuff.  Like cooking food and drinking beer and watching basball players in their tight pants.

wedding bliss

I would like to inform the elbuzzard world that paul was NOT slapped upon arriving at dear old Thomas’ house, but kent did slap Sara about 5 times in the car after a very long night of drinking for the bride and groom. No, he was not driving at the same time. St. Paul is the best. The last day I was there, one of Thomas’ friends came over and fed me a hot dog with the weenie wrapped in BACON! Now, you tell me St. Paul isn’t the best..I dare you!

St. Paul Rules

We arrived in Minneapolis/St. Paul last night and hit the town with Thomas.  Well, we didn’t make it to Minneapolis yet, just kicking it in St. Paul, where apparently all the cool people live.

St. Paul reminds me of Chicago with three quarters of the buildings removed.  Their state capital and cathedral are sites to behold, though.

BJ, Sara, and Paul have just landed and should be here in 15 minutes.  I’m going to slap Paul in the face when he walks in.

Happy Independence Day, Amerika!

Despite the fact that I was born in a foreign country, I still love to celebrate the 4th of July, mainly because I love barbeque, blowing things up, and the Constitution.

Since this year I celebrate the 4th as a naturalized, rather than native-born citizen, I’ll be honoring my country by drinking the beer of my homeland, rather than some other watered-down American beer.

Happy birthday, America! I’m sure that Thomas Jefferson would be very proud of the way you’ve turned out.

NO/Jefferson