Category: General

I beat Dave at pool. All by myself. No cheating. No special handicap. It took me 6 years to do this. I beat Dave at pool. Tonight I aim to do it again.

Today my brother and I were standing on the back porch of our house. There was a bunch of snow on the detached garage’s roof. We both took turns knocking the snow off by throwing old metal folding chairs at the roof. It didn’t work. Then Chuck had to climb onto the snowy roof, and retrieve one of the folded folding chairs that got stuck up there. (We threw them folded and unfolded to cover all our bases). Chuck almost fell off the roof many times, but he took my advice (“Stay low”) and made it back to the porch safely. I was so scared for him. So scared.

Also, before the chair incident we went under a big tree in the back with the intentions of shaking it, and making all the snow come down. This did not work because the tree was too big to shake. But Chuck did try to “buck” it like a bull. Chuck is so brave.

A collection of activities I can now drink at thanks to the birthday flask Dave gave me:

1) Sporting Events
2) Sledding
3) Sking
4) Snowball Fights
5) Shoveling
6) Drinking
7) Playing Cards
8) Riding Horses
9) Camping
10)Typing
11) Working
12) Mowing
13) Axing
14) Sleeping
15) State Fairs
16) Skating
17) Snowshoing
18) Shopping
19) Kite-flying
20) Cursing
21) Candle Making
22) Boating
23) Whoring
24) Fighting
25) Proposing

Thanks again Dave!

I’m awed.

The Beerbelly.

Kent just came into the office and said, ‘Hey, look at my thumb, I didn’t realize I cut it.”

It never ends.

Yes, it’s all true. I slipped and fell down the backsteps doing the laundry and broke my tailbone. In two places. I’ll try and get the x-ray and post it.

I am sitting on a little inflatable donut filled with ice.

It hurts, but I am a soldier. The Glass Bus will roll again. My tennis season may be over, but the Mardi Gras flag football game is coming up and you can bet I will be 100%.

Postponed it last week as I felt rough.

I am now certified in analyzing solution requirements and defining Microsoft .NET solution architectures!

The weak link in the vaunted elbuzzard tennis tandem, Kent  was placed Tuesday on the inactive list after X-rays revealed a “separation of the sacrum or tail bone.” He will spend the next couple of weeks sitting in an innertube filled with ice.
The often-injured former running back suffered the fracture after falling down the back stairs, only a week after his wife Leslie had managed to pull the same stunt. Leslie is at 80%.
Kent, nicknamed the “Glass Bus,” after breaking his ribs playing flag football, has denied rumors of retirement. He turned 30 in September.
“I’ve shattered my ass plenty of times,” said tennis chum Paul. “It hurts, but you’ve got to keep pounding away. He’ll be back.”

So I spent the Thanksgiving Holidays with my girlfriend Chelsey’s parents in Kearney, NE. The span of 4 days quickly became a blur, as the first evening dissolved into a drunken mess, starring her father and me. It included about 25 beers, 6 shots of Wild Turkey, and a pool table. Highlights included his drinking to “You winning a game of pool,” during our third round of shots, and my shooting back “What did I tell you about talking shit to me?” The musical accompaniment was supplied by AC/DC, Sammy Haggar, and Kid Rock. I got so drunk.

The next morning I was informed that I had passed the test of being able to hang in with Mr. Greg Erpelding. This came as a tremendous relief, as there was no way I was going to be able to suffer another audition. Mr. Erpelding, by the way was chipper as could be the next day, hopping out of bed at 8am, to start smoking the Thanksgiving Day turkey. Did I mention he also had 3 shots of Rum? The man is made of steel, leather, and turpentine. My hangover was colossal. I crawled through Thursday, while the rest of the family took pity on me.

The following days were anti-climatic compared to the night of debauchery. Chelsey and I met a ton of relatives and friends, and we made it to that Archway that Jack Nicholson goes to in “About Schmidt.” It was so lame, except that it had some of those weird video action/physical displays that are fast becoming my favorites in the newer museums. (Chicago has a nice one in their submarine section of the Museum of Science and Industry.)

Now I am sick of writing. I will end with two things taught me by Chelsey’s parents:

1) If you wrap up cookies with a piece of bread it keeps them moist.
2) A cool nickname for Old Milwaukee beer is “The Old Mill.”