Baseball All Star Game = Grilling and Beer = Guns Shooting in Air

 

Bo Jackson: Badassboggs_wade_1.jpgburt.jpg

I watch the All-Star game every year.  I always hope it’s gonna be like that one where Bo Jackson hits the homer, and then Wade Boggs homers right after that.  I remember that one like it was yesterday.  My uncle jack was there.  Bo Jackson was a badass.  And he had the best shoe.  Many people don’t realize he invented those cross trainers himself.  Then he got fat, and tried to sell power bars.  He also ran over Brian Bosworth, which was one of the greatest things that has ever happened ever.  Wade Boggs was a cheeseball.  I hate him.  One thing that you find out when you get older is that all the guys who wore cheesy mustaches in the 80’s really were cheeseballs.  They weren’t just victims of the time.  Mike Schmidt is another example.  I’m sure Tom Selek is a dope too.  And I think Burt Reynolds’ cheesiness is well documented from his time on Win, Lose or Draw.  Maybe it’s not the mustaches though.  Maybe it’s the matching gold chain.  Or maybe it’s a convertable thing.  I will never know, because I’m too busy with other stuff.  Like cooking food and drinking beer and watching basball players in their tight pants.

wedding bliss

I would like to inform the elbuzzard world that paul was NOT slapped upon arriving at dear old Thomas’ house, but kent did slap Sara about 5 times in the car after a very long night of drinking for the bride and groom. No, he was not driving at the same time. St. Paul is the best. The last day I was there, one of Thomas’ friends came over and fed me a hot dog with the weenie wrapped in BACON! Now, you tell me St. Paul isn’t the best..I dare you!

St. Paul Rules

We arrived in Minneapolis/St. Paul last night and hit the town with Thomas.  Well, we didn’t make it to Minneapolis yet, just kicking it in St. Paul, where apparently all the cool people live.

St. Paul reminds me of Chicago with three quarters of the buildings removed.  Their state capital and cathedral are sites to behold, though.

BJ, Sara, and Paul have just landed and should be here in 15 minutes.  I’m going to slap Paul in the face when he walks in.

Happy Independence Day, Amerika!

Despite the fact that I was born in a foreign country, I still love to celebrate the 4th of July, mainly because I love barbeque, blowing things up, and the Constitution.

Since this year I celebrate the 4th as a naturalized, rather than native-born citizen, I’ll be honoring my country by drinking the beer of my homeland, rather than some other watered-down American beer.

Happy birthday, America! I’m sure that Thomas Jefferson would be very proud of the way you’ve turned out.

NO/Jefferson

Kent Say These Guys Rule

Kent’s QB Rankings
*based on projected stats for ’06 season

1. Peyton Manning
2. Tom Brady
3. Carson Palmer
4. Drew Bledsoe
5. Eli Manning
6. Daunte Culpepper
7. Jon Kitna
8. Aaron Brooks
9. Donovan McNabb
10. Michael Vick
11. Matt Hasselbeck
12. Jake Plummer
13. Kurt Warner
14. Ben Roethlisberger
15. Drew Brees
16. Jake Delhomme
Continue reading Kent Say These Guys Rule

I Believe

Football season is fast approaching. Hopefully Dave and I will be able to regail our readers with riveting tales of our Fantasy Football leagues. Be ready for excitement. Allow me to apologize in advance. Not that we have slacked off on posting about the NFL over the summer… Just look down and there’s Tom Landy.

Anyway… This post is about, you guessed it, the NFL.

Awhile back, the Saints and Patriots traded players, WR Bethel Johnson came to New Orleans and DT Johnathan Sullivan went to New England. We were glad to be rid of him, mainly because he was too fat, too slow, and just not very good. And then on Sunday, he was arrested while driving through Georgia for driving without a seatbelt, running two stop signs, and marijuana possession. Poor New England.
What’s up with the Saints? How is it that a franchise notorious for failure and mediocrity managed this storybook off-season? First we signed Drew Brees, then we scored Reggie Bush in the draft. Let’s not forget that Aaron Brooks and Jim Haslett are now spreading their lackluster talents somewhere else, as well. Are we being set up for a fall? Things look great now. Are we going to revert to the Saints of old, or have we turned a corner?

Dave maintains that Saints fans lack faith. We are sure that Reggie will break his leg in two places in his NFL debut, after holding out for all of the pre-season. We know that Drew Brees will get hit in the second game and his arm will fall off. We know that Donte Stallworth will never live up to his potential. We are ready to hear at any moment that the team is moving to Los Angeles. We expect disappointment. it’s all we have known.

I’m trying really hard not to expect failure. It’s difficult when you have set yourself up for a winning season every year, and every year the Black and Gold finds a new way to disappoint. It’s in our blood. It’s also in our blood to listen to that little spring of hope in the back of our minds: these are the new Saints, the winning Saints, the Saints that don’t lose 53-3 to the Packers. The Saints that don’t miss an extra point to tie the game after the last second River City Relay against the Jags.

I will believe until Drew Brees throws a backwards pass to no one.