First let me start by wishing everyone a blessed Thanks Giving. I hope the holidays find everyone well. I woke up at 6am and can’t get back to sleep.
As some may remember, in 1996 I took Yancy’s car keys while he was sleeping and got a DWI in his car. I found a great, and not to mention inexpensive, lawyer, Meyer Sablodowsky, who got me off scott free. I even got every penny of my $720 bond money returned to me. That was awesome (not the drinking and driving part, because that’s wiggity-wiggity-whack.)
Since that time I’ve renewed my Missouri drivers lisence twice with no problem. I’ve committed several traffic violations, including one in the French Quarter about a month before Katrina (where I was given a sobriety test and passed, thank you very much,) and had no lagal issues other than the petty tickets issued for these minor violations.
Well, in 2006 I had to renew my license. It had expired, and I wanted to rent a Dodge Charger to drive to New Orleans For my friends Nolan and Beth’s wedding. When I went to the DMV, the lady denied my renewal, telling me, in that smug, government employed way,”You got problems in New Orleans.” She gave me a phone number to call.
As it turns out, the New Orleans court system has conveniently lost the records that say I was dismissed of all charges on that DWI from 11 years ago. They have the records that say I got a DWI, but none that say it was expunged from my driving record. Because of this I can’t renew my lisence. They say it’s up to me to produce the court minutes, or some other kind of legal notice I wasn’t furnished with at the time of the trial. I have kept every record given to me regarding the case, but none of it is what they want.
First I contacted Meyer Sablodowsky, whom never got back to me, and hadn’t made any progress when I contacted him again. Mr. Sablodowsky has unfortunately passed away since then, at the ripe old age of ninety. I loved that man, and may God rest his soul.
Next I sought council from a friend’s brother, who is a lawyer in New Orleans. Since he doesn’t generally deal with traffic issues, he said he’d get to it the next time he happened to “pop” into traffic court. About year later, with nothing being resolved, I realize this guy doesn’t “pop” into traffic court very often.
I remembered a friend of mine is a lawyer in Houma, so three or four weeks ago I went to him on the issue. He said he’d pass it on to a colleague of his in New Orleans. Then yesterday the friend in Houma texted me, and said he hadn’t heard back from his colleague, and suggested I try another avenue. What the fuck?!
I’m currently unemployed and seeking work. Regardless of what kind of job I get, I’m going to be required to produce a valid drivers lisence. I’m meeting with a production company on saturday, about a production assistant position on a feature film shooting in St. Louis. They already asked if I’m comfortable driving a cube truck. I am, but I’m going to have to doctor my drivers lisence before I give it to them. I’m going to have to do this for any job I apply for until I can get some fucking help in New Orleans!
Dave, does Kevin Kelly still practice law in N.O.? Does anyone have any suggestions, or know a halfway decent lawyer? I’m sick of this mother fucking shit! Am I being tried for the same crime twice? Fuck New Orleans! Fuck FEMA for telling me to give my money back! Fuck Katrina for providing an excuse for the courts to pretend they lost my shit so they can fuck some more money out of my fucking ass!
Merry Fucking Christmas, and I’m thankful that I’ll be dead one day!
Seriously though, anyone got any ideas.
O’J.
What a pain in the ass!
If Meyer was anything like my parents’ attorney (who’s also an octogenarian), his record keeping might have been a little suspect. He didn’t provide you with any paperwork that has identifying characteristics like a case number? Also, do you have the receipt for the bond refund? If so, these should provide a new attorney with places to start.
Although Meyer was old, did he practice as part of a firm? Even if “retired,” he may have maintained a connection to a firm or office. If so, they may have some of his records and may be able to provide you with the right ones. I hope these aren’t too obvious (and thus already considered).
Jamie … Kevin Kelly’s #504-228-2239. He’ll probably charge you because he is a prick.
Oh my Jamie. I wish I had advice about lawyers for you, or reasoning behind the ass-backwards ways of a defunct government shit grinder of an organization…but I don’t. I just want you to know that I’m on your side and I believe the tides must turn soon and you will have your day in the sun…above all this crap.
Just found out that JV’s persistence has resolved his problem. Long distance from St. Louis to Baton Rouge! Congratulations. Mazel Tov! Prost!
Thank you Capn! It’s true. I worked it out. Capn Jack called me, to recommend a lawyer. I really appreciate that. For some reason when the Capn said he was Mr. Woinowsky, I was thinking “Sablodowsky” (my deceased lawyer’s last name). I thought Sablodowsky’s son (also a lawyer) had some how caught wind of my situation. I really confused the capn when I told him I really appreciate everything his father had done for me, and how sorry I was for his loss.
Anyway I just stayed on the phone and internet all day monday, and went back and for to the DMV until I found the answer to my problem at the Baton Rouge DMV. All I had to do was pay a reinstatement fee from 1996.
Yesterday I went and retook my written and driving test. I got a %100 on the written, and a %93 on my driving. They didn’t even make me parallel park.
The biggest challenge was that the driving tester talked like Boomhauer on King of the Hill. I missed a turn he instructed me to take because I didn’t understand what he meant when he said, “diddle dang right at da blue dig nag-a-diddle ding dong.”
I didn’t know if he meant the dominoes pizza sign, or one of the other blue signs at the shopping center on the right.
Well, anyway, I’m in a good mood now. Sorry I can’t entertain you all with one of my signature bitch fits.
In parting; if you have to retake the written test, when in doubt, answer “C”. Take it from O’J. — It really works.
Jamie 1
The Man 0
Well, the moral of the story here is crystal clear.
The Captain always knows.
glad you got it all cleared up Jimmy V. next time you’re in Atlanta, we’ll split a bottle of Bushmills.