It doesn’t seem like it has been that long, and at the same time, it feels like the storm was ages ago. Being in the city last weekend was good, but it really drove home that there is a lot of work still to be done. There has been a good amount of progress and no progress since I was last there in May. I guess that’s the typical dual nature of New Orleans, where rich and poor live in the same neighborhoods, where we celebrate a religious holiday with drunken debauchery.
The grass is back and green again. It was still mostly dead in May. Of course, now it’s two feet tall in front of neglected houses. I guess that’s better than dead grass.
I have mixed feelings today. A lot of feelings, actually. I’m thankful that we all made it through the storm and the levees’ failure. I’m angry at the government. I’m tired of defending the city to people who don’t understand. I’m happy that the city and its people continue on, despite the hardships of everyday life that the rest of the country (myself included here in Atlanta) take for granted. I’m both hopeful and worried for the future.
The city has changed forever. That’s not good, that’s not bad, it’s just different. New Orleans breeds a hardiness of attitude and a love of tradition that will be valuable attributes in the days to come. Sure the city will change. But it will always be New Orleans, it will always be my city, my home, no matter where I live.
I’ve never had a better Hansen’s Sno-Bliz than the one I had on Saturday. It tasted like home.
Last year at this time, I was glued to the TV at K&L’s home in Atlanta, grateful I was able to leave, but unable to fully comprehend what I was seeing. However, the process of finding the roof of my house from a satellite view finally made it real. When I look at the bathtub rings that still exist all around the neighborhood, it’s still real, and sad. But there is progress. More houses are being demolished or gutted. Trash is being picked up. And mail is being delivered. Amazing that those things have such a positive effect, on me, at least, most of the time. Glass half full attitude, I guess.
I had had an idea that this Thanksgiving would see my house back together, but I’m learning that intentions cannot replace reality. So plans change, no big deal.
Thanks Leslie and Kent, for coming home. See you again, soon (But hopefully not because of a storm). Love ya. Dad
I’m feeling preety low today, more confused than anything. I don’t feel like eating. Jack, I’m still sleeping on your wonderful bed, and I can go back to that time in my head of hanging our asses off the back of the truck in the rain under an overpass with big rigs blowing by…I still couldn’t get a man doing that! That was a rough but wonderful trip, and I’m glad we have such a big family to hold onto. It’s very difficult when people who didn’t experience the storm seem to move on and forget. I miss my friends the most on days like today…I want to be around the New Orleans gang, and I want to feel safe and loved. Tonight there is a gathering in Austin at a coffee shop for the New Orleans crew here in the city. Brent is going to show his documentaries, there will be Abita and Vegetarian jambalaya (yuck…damn hippies), and I’m going to dress up as my lady Ms. Rebecca Havemeyer to celebrate the fact that we are all alive and moving forward with high hopes. I love you all and miss you dearly. Laissez les bon temps roule!! Go Saints!
One year ago today, I was staring at my computer with my mouth wide open. Thank god the local stations streamed on the internet so long. I was able to follow the developments as they happened from when the storm hit (and they thought things might be okay), to when the water wouldn’t stop rising (and they knew things would be worse than could be imagined). My heart broke so many times over the next few days. Then I turned into a zombie.
I just finished realizing how detached I’ve become in order to cope with the stress of this past year since Katrina.
I had an evacuee in my office today who was coming in needing all the basics, the same issues that I saw in my office a year ago. As if we were starting in the exact same place again. And I was doing the exact same thing, frantically researching, blindly grasping for solutions, pounding the client with form after form and information sheet after information sheet. I am still running around in crisis mode…a year later. Solutions are just as vague, murky as ever and the policies are STILL changing daily. It is amazing.
I was strictly business with him. Now, looking back hours later, I can see that in addition to rental assistance, glasses, dentures, and food he really just wanted someone to talk to today. No one called him for his birthday this weekend. No one visited. He’s a 53 year old schizophrenic and trying so very hard to keep it all in line. All I needed to do was stop giving him information and filling out paperwork and look at him and smile and ask him how he is doing. Talk about his weekend. I mean at least stop doing shit and look at him while he talks. It kills me. That used to be automatic, second nature for me, but now, I’m just addressing clients as a wall of obstacles to weed through.
I did the same thing tonight at the event with Paul and Brent Joseph. I was so on auto-pilot just to cope. I didn’t realize it, until after I came home. I have completely stopped feeling just so I can be productive. I am so sorry. I didn’t quite realize it until this moment. I think you all are awesome and I love you very much. I am so lucky to be able to be with you.
Figuring out the zoo of Katrina relief in Austin has been mindboggling, overwhelming, absurd, frustrating, so I cannot even imagine what it is like in New Orleans or Houston.
The good thing, the thing that amazes me and makes me feel right inside, is that there is a very dedicated group of people out there who have been working overtime for a year solid to effect positive change despite all the bullshit politics that’ve been flying.
There is a group of social service agencies here in Austin who meet weekly and communicate daily to work on Katrina evacuees’ issues. Below is an email exchange between a LA lawyer who has been working for the Texas free legal aid group here and a senior FEMA official. The lawyer among a group of the most dedicated tireless workers I’ve seen. I have no idea how they do it. Anyway, I’m not sure if this will translate into anything meaningful for y’all, but I think it is awesome. The first email is from Jane with FEMA and the second is Sue, the lawyer’s response. Screw the bureacracy, wake up! I just did 🙂 Now I just to have to keep my eyes open.
Jane wrote:
> Sue,
>
> I am extremely disappointed to learn that you cussed out one of our
> FEMA staff members, and worse yet did it in front of a client and
> others. This is totally unacceptable behavior and I will not tolerate
> it or subject our staff to it.
>
> Before this incident, I always praised our team on its ability to all
> work together for the good of the evacuees.
>
> ***Sincerely,***
>
> *Jane*
> *Senior FEMA Official*
> *Austin Area Field Office*
> **
>
I know. I apologized then and I apologize again to you and all
involved. Spike Lee’s HBO documentary reminded me of everything last
year and everything that’s still like that over there and how just like
federal goverment is taking time to fix NOLA, people need time too.
Some are only now about to get the birth certificates they ordered in
the shelter in September – ask Shawn Lemieux of United Way how many of
them they’ve got to mail out – I know it’s a lot. There is a lack of
available employment for many due to the job skills/education gap; there
is a lack of affordable housing for those who work for low wages; there
are serious mental health issues that stem from being separated from
your family and friends and seeing the home you knew all your life
destroyed, and if you’re lucky, that’s all you saw; and people are
trying to escape these feelings of loneliness, hopelessness, and despair
through drug use which makes them dispensable in our society for the
most part. I know it’s a waste of time for me to write and you to read,
just thought I’d try.
When George asked your rep Gricelda if CARITAS could get an applicant
who spent the rental assistance FEMA issued in February “back on track”
if CARITAS paid the rent so the client could provide rent receipts to
recertify, she said yes. Immediately after that, and I mean right then
– it was the weirdest thing – an applicant returned with his rental
ledger after following Gricelda’s instructions to cross out rent
payments on it that CARITAS made on his behalf. The only reason she
would ask him to do this was so the rent that CARITAS paid would not be
counted for recertification. When I asked why she was doing that in
light of the conversation we had JUST had, she was expressionless. The
question was reframed for clarity – why does it matter where the funds
come from for his rent if he has receipts? George was asking too…as
you remember, the client had paid for school with some of the
assistance, and George said if he knew about the issue, CARITAS would
have paid for the school instead. The discrepancy in her answer to
George from 3 minutes earlier was clearly explained. Silence.
Reframed. Nothing. Then you came by and took over with the standard
lines like “we’ve always called landlords and checked for duplication of
benefits, which is against the regulations we have to follow under the
law as good stewards…we ‘want to make everyone eligible’ but there are
things we cannot do that are against the law, I’m so sorry…” Thank you
for stopping your next spiel mid-way when I said “no” in disgust. I can
only take so much of that at one time.
That applicant asked her what her name was. She said Gricelda. He
asked what her last name was. She said ya’ll only go by first names.
Figures. I understand it though…if my job were to mislead program
directors about a policy WHILE I was working against a client to make a
case exactly the opposite of what I had just told the program director,
I’d want some anonymity too. By the way, one of the reaons why you said
FEMA would not be flexible with this issue is because FEMA let people
use the first $2358 to replace clothing, beds, food, and other essential
needs. He did not receive that. Do you think maybe you can get him
ok’d for that like everyone else was? A little equitable distribution?
He lost everything in NOLA, was the leaseholder in NOLA, and used that
rental assistance to buy a bed and other essentials. That would be a
way to fix his problem if you wanted to. I know it’s a waste of time
for me to write and you to read, just thought I’d try.
The next applicant had been denied for No Contact/Insufficient Damage.
Gricelda went over his information with him. His pre-disaster address
that he first gave to FEMA was where his ID states he lived and his
belongings were – at his uncle’s apartment. However, he was staying at
his cousin’s (next door) when he evacuated. He just sort of drifted
between the two. Young guy. Twenty-something. She began to change his
information in the record. I asked her if FEMA was going to deny him
now because he can’t prove occupancy at the new apartment number. Again
the same look. Utterly vacant. I asked her if she was going to give
him the form from the June 19 Insufficient Damage Guidelines. Silence.
Would she give him the letter that the Guidelines said would be mailed
out to those affected applicants? Nothing. I told her he was denied
for Insufficient Damage…FEMA’s policy is that by filling out a form
he’s eligible…make him (expletive) eligible. I was totally out of
line. But can we not focus on my faux pas and deal with the issues to
help this guy piece together his life? If you can’t make him eligible,
I can see that, and I understand. But can you relocate him to his
family wherever they are? Can you put him back from where you got him?
Clean up? Do evacuees from shared households who get denied rental
assistance get sent to live with those they lived with before, or was
the evacuation a one-way ticket to homelessness with a year delay in
pending-land? I know it’s a waste of time for me to write and you to
read, just thought I’d try.
Your policies are clear. They are in the Stafford Act, the Regulations,
the Guidelines, the Federal Register Notices, and the written
instructions such as “provide rental receipts.” It’s just that when it
comes down to the front line, when ya’ll make decisions you do not
adhere to the written policies and you add obstacles or requirements.
That’s really frustrating. And the way the law is written, we may not
have any recourse against it. Social injustice gets me upset, especially
when it’s done right in front of my face by government.
I don’t know what you meant by “our team” in your email below. Your
team at FEMA clinics probably does work well together (not so sure it’s
for the good of the evacuee). I see the others you cc’d, and George was
questioning Gricelda too, but I’m not on your team. I belong at a FEMA
APPEALS Clinic, not a FEMA Clinic. That’s the problem. We should
probably not be together without a judge present. That’s what’s
lacking: judicial oversight. It’s a good thing; that’s why we usually
have it in the U.S. Even if the judge said “no,” at least it would be
checked and balanced. Right now it’s just screwy. Right now it’s just
the court of public opinion, and we don’t get there unless there’s a
class action, and everyone’s scared to do that because a failure might
erode whatever ground we’ve gained, and ya’ll don’t comply with the
Court anyway, so what’s the use? Screwy. Doesn’t make sense. In the
U.S., it’s supposed to make sense. I know it’s a waste of time for me
to write and you to read, just thought I’d try.
Maybe we can all make a FEMA claim for disaster-related desensitivity
training. Then it won’t matter to me that a guy who worked, paid rent,
lost everything in NOLA, went to school here and is working part-time
and looking for more work and really trying is about to lose his housing
because upon case-by-case review, FEMA decides to kick the scrutiny up a
notch from its written policy, while misleading a program director. And
you guys won’t get extremely disappointed when you hear an expletive fly.
No more FEMA clinics for me. You can do whatever you do without me
bothering you with your written policies. I’m sure that’s irritating.
I don’t want to irritate anyone. I want to be an effective advocate,
and I can’t when valid points are dismissed with trite boilerplate
commentary. What happened at that clinic yesterday was unbelievably
depressing. I don’t know if you care about having that effect on
anyone, but just to let you know, there are about half a million Katrina
and Rita victims and others that know them and try to help them who feel
the same way. I know it’s a waste of time for me to write and you to
read, just thought I’d try.
Sue
Staff Attorney, Louisiana License
[removed]
Okay I know this is so ungodly long and probably won’t get read to the end. Ya know, ya post once a year, this is what comes out.
Goodnight.
xoxosara
editor’s note: names changed and contact info removed, to protect the innocent/guilty. just in case. -kent