Ladies and Gentlemen of the elbuzzard.com….in a spectacle worthy of a sports article by the Great David P…Mr. Kent, the Buzzard himself, pulls his nubile form into the pink glow of fame and golden destinies!
In a radical attempt to capture the magical, horrific, and often times perverse realm of Paul Soileau’s mind, our brave soldiers, Kent and Brent, took on the task of immortalizing a psychological brainwave for the year 2007! After being briefed one evening on the many influences in Mr. Soileau’s life….which, in a nutshell, could be described in the phrase…”Like a Broadway Sex Hammer”…(or something in that vein), our two boys took it upon themselves to delve into their uncanny world of music and hymns to create the ultimate mix CD’s.
After both contestants completed said CD’s, even choosing 3 of the same artists!, it was time to pick the winner. Kent’s CD was described as:
” An electro-molasses of perversion and ache as this mix
began with a digital tone of smut. Dangerously supplied with songs of
past and present, this mix warbled on the curvy mule path of the Grand
Canyon, with a french influence that made the trek quite imaginary. A
risk of never reaching a grand height or a sullen dump made this mix a
middle thumper to boot. “
While BK’s Album received this review:
“Upbeat start to a mix with beaucoup choral activity
throughout disc, tempered with melancholy mud pits boiling
with electro beats from gay archives. An colossal collection composed
of sounds that were often a bit to polished and clean, especially in
the vocal department. Energetic songs of happiness made for enormous
kudos.”
Alas…Mr. Buzzard pulled ahead and took the greasy cup. A big hand to our two jetsetters of the music world. We hope that next year will be a monumental event full of richness, color, bravery, and gay young lads!
Adieu
Where we supposed to vote? Well, could ya’ll send me the mixes after I move into my apartment in a few weeks?
Who is the Phantom? Paul? Dave? You’ve got me man/woman, but I like your style.
It’s Dave! No, It’s Paul. Colleen? Damn it! Everyone knows but me, don’t you?
the phantom is lulu, but you are next in the mix cd competition.
the last one left me broken hearted, but you wouldn’t do that to me, wouldja James?
All credit goes to God and my coach. I just want to say that the competition was tough, some of the toughest I’ve ever faced, but I just executed the game plan and never quit fighting.
I call Shenanigans. This contest was rigged from the start.
Belle & Sebastian still sucks the BIG one.
Put that on your smut list and smauk it.
What do you mean, I’m next?
I can’t move into my new place until like the 20th of June, so you can just send me the mixes now. Where do I send my address?
Now I’d like to dedicate a shitty Belle and Sebastian song to Kent:
“The hero of this story, He is mighter thatn swords!”
Imagine me singing that through my nose.
The 20th of June was nine days ago.
Some may say that making a mixed tape for Jimmy Valentine is an impossible task, but I believe it can be done.
brent and I take comfort in the curious fact that JV knows so much about what he mocks.
Jimmy, I can’t believe you still remember the lyrics to that Belle and Sebastian song…I can still hear you singing it in my head.