OK Here’s What You Do

Get up and drive your wife to the airport.

Come home, take a shower, throw in some laundry.

Start up the Roomba on the dining room.  Start it up!

Get out some brie.  Brie cheese!

Cut it in some slices and put it on some wheat bread.  Get your ham out of the fridge.

Put some of that ham on some bread.  Put that piece right next to the piece with the cheese on it.

Now you’ve got to move the cheese over to the ham side, because you’ve got to get some mustard under it.

Get out the creole mustard.  Creole mustard.

Spread that mustard on the bread that used to have the cheese on it.  Then PUT THE CHEESE RIGHT BACK WHERE IT WAS BEFORE.  That is the key right there.

Now you toast both slices of bread.

Watch out, your toaster toasts the holy hell out of whatever you put in there, and it’s starting to burn  your bread a little.  TAKE IT OUT NOW.

Put both slices of bread together so that the ham meets the cheese.  Hello cheese!  Hello ham!

Press them together.

The cheese drips out the side of the sandwich.  THIS MEANS YOU HAVE DONE IT RIGHT.

Look at the cat, he’s bugging out at the Roomba.

Move the Roomba right into the living room and have it do it’s thing.

Take your sandwich into the office for some early morning internet reading.

WHAT THE HELL YOU CAN’T EAT WITH THAT BIG ASS RIGHT THERE.

Make a post while enjoying your delicious sandwich.  IT’S DELICIOUS.