Author: David

The Answer — Mark Simoneau

Lacking even one decent linebacker, the Saints gave away their best receiver for Eagle back-up Mark Simonea. N.O. has now added the only linebackers in the league—Scott Shanle, Jay Foreman, Tommy Polley, Scott Fujita and Anthony Simmons—that cannot break into the Saints’ starting line-up.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2564338

Kent Say These Guys Rule

Kent’s QB Rankings
*based on projected stats for ’06 season

1. Peyton Manning
2. Tom Brady
3. Carson Palmer
4. Drew Bledsoe
5. Eli Manning
6. Daunte Culpepper
7. Jon Kitna
8. Aaron Brooks
9. Donovan McNabb
10. Michael Vick
11. Matt Hasselbeck
12. Jake Plummer
13. Kurt Warner
14. Ben Roethlisberger
15. Drew Brees
16. Jake Delhomme
Continue reading Kent Say These Guys Rule

2008 NBA All-Star Game to Hornetrific

Those interested in joining me at the 2008 NBA All-Star Game at the pristine and restored New Orleans Arena, please contact Kent with your name and credit card information. Also include a written note reminding him that the return of the Hornets, like all other major businesses, is a huge step in helping revive the city’s economy. He hates the Hornets.

Pre-JazzFest Poll

Who will be the hero of what has been called the Most Important JazzFest Ever? The Big Easy took the Mardi Gras crown. But if the city’s politicians — and the Saints — don’t get their acts together (see Kimberly Williamson post, and why in the hell are we looking to trade Stallworth and D. Smith?), New Orleans will have a hard time repeating.

Matt was phat at M.G., and is the early favorite. Can Marnie live up to her billing? So sweet on the outside, but, kids, don’t let her fool you, she once filled a cursin’ jar.

Kent … well … he’ll likely get hurt upon arrival. But Leslie, on the other hand, has been full of spunk recently. A strong performance is anticipated for this career underachiever.

And don’t count out Susan. She’ll rock and drink margarita wine coolers with the best of them.

Stay tuned.

DP TOP 10 MG PERFORMERS

1. City of New Orleans: Resilient energy was evident from the Quarter to Cooter Brown’s, and brought tears to my eyes on several occasions. Thank you, New Orleans. I love and miss you.

2. Matt: An unknown contender last year, this cracked-out journalist came into his own in 2006. On Saturday night, after scoring a game-tying touchdown in the annual Mardi Gras Bowl, Matt kicked it by his lonesome on Bourbon Street until the wee hours of the morning. He returned Uptown around 4:30 a.m., taunted those who were sleeping, then headed back to Bourbon Street – a feat never thought to have been accomplished.

3. Kevin: After several disappointing performances in years past, lawyer made a late push up the rankings by sleeping with three girls in four nights.

4. Marnie and Jack: Continually provided starving drunkards with nourishment and furniture. Couldn’t have made it without them.

5. Karen: Strong throughout; peaked by throwing up twice on the way to the airport. Needs more practice.

6. Kent: He drank a lot.

7. David: He drank almost as much, and ended a two-year sexless drought.

8. Ally: Beautiful little girl dominated at Sunday night parades. Her haul included a 4-foot stuffed rabbit.

9. Susan: Bubbling over with obnoxious enthusiasm; lost points for drinking too many Mike’s Hard Lemonades before noon.

10. Beth: MG rookie got off to a slow start but went out with a bang.

Biggest Disappointments
Colleen: Who drinks red wine on Mardi Gras?
Yancy: Looked good on opening night. Didn’t get out of bed the next day.
Amber, BJ, Mark, Mitch: I couldn’t tell you if they were there or not.
Jason-Lisa: Need to drink more and stay longer.
Leslie: Not as surly as usual.

Frustration Incorporation

Now that the government has admitted to screwing up the post-Katrina relief efforts, what will their punishment be? 1,300 counts of murder? Relieved of their duties? 10 year of hard labor rebuilding New Orleans and affected areas?
Why do I get the feeling that these incompetent fools will be allowed to continue at their jobs with little or no punishment?
I’m with Hillary Clinton: This is the worst administration ever, at least in my lifetime.