Top 10 Reasons Why Paul and Dave Are Single for the Holidays

10. Just because our grandmas say we should be with someone of the opposite sex doesn’t mean we have to be.
9. Still holding out for Tierney’s sister and brother.
8. “I’m not nodding off, baby … you just startled me.”
7. Dave’s fat.
6. Paul’s gay.
5. Hosting Christmas party with reenactment of the Nativity Scene featuring babe in swaddling clothes burning in recently tested fireplace.
4. Koster’s got all the 22-year-olds.
3. Rich Joey won’t buy us significant Asian others? Or will he …
2. Have you ever hung out with Kent and Leslie?
1. Because Brent Joseph is!

Merry Christmas from Paul and Dave.