This just in: I’m a big fan of Mardi Gras, and it’s practically beginning tomorrow. So, unlike Rex Grossman, I’m completely focused on the big game — Mardi Gras Bowl VII.
Looks like we might have about 10 people. I’m first captain; I take Kent.
Now, we need another captain. Once that person has been hired, every other person planning to participate needs to post a short description of their abilities. For example: “At 5-10, 214 pounds, Brent Koster comes with extra-thick calves and extra-thin game; will likely be intoxicated and has nasty tendency to get naked. Recommended Position: Beer Bitch.â€
Please respond swiftly.
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Mardi Gras Concerts
Thurs., Feb. 15 — Rebirth at Tips; Opening act is Yo Mama’s Big Fat Booty Band
Fri., Feb. 16 — Morning 40 at One-Eyed Jacks; Rebirth at Howling Wolf
Sat., Feb. 17 — Rebirth at Howling Wolf; Opening act is Para Grows Funk; Hazard County Girls, Circle Bar
Sun., Feb. 18 — The Noise Parade, Circle Bar
Mon. (Lundi Gras), Feb. 19 — Morning 40 at Checkpoint Charlie’s: Dr. John, House of Blues
Fat Tues., Feb. 20 — Rebirth at the Maple Leaf
(I’ll update as more shows develop.)
Check out Satchmo.com. It’s a great M.G. site.
Stay tuned for the 2007 Mardi Gras Odds. (Hint: Illy’s the early to favorite to puke first.)
Chelsey the lightning bolt: 5-7, 127 lbs, very light on my feet. Im good at running and jumping..not so good at throwing, ok at catching if it is thrown from a close distance.
Brent the Gazelle: 6-4, 225 pounds. Lithe and Robust. Dances and prances through the fields, and never forgets to smell the flowers. I’m very fast at tippy-toeing, and doing interpretive moves with my arms, hands, and fingers. Prone to crying if things get too “intense.”
Furthermore…I will happily be second captain, and I will take my brother Chuck as my first pick. Chuck is massive.
I can’t believe you picked Chuck over your wife. I know I will be last pick.
Maybe if you were more massive. And I’m sure the last pick will be Colleen – assuming she comes.
As co-captain, I select Thomas.
Good pick, Kent.
Other confirmed players include: Jason Purdum, Lisa Purdum, Paul, Leslie, Poopy, Illy, Matt.
I got my wife. Eat that. We will be called the Omahotties, and I have already drawn up several short pass plays for Chelsey.
Well, I guess we already know what the worst pick in the draft is — Chelsey in the 2nd round, PLEASE!
Kent and Dave select JaMarcus Russell
You just pissed off the wrong girl. Your balls will not be safe at any point of this game.
Kent and Dave select veteran wide receiver and perennial Mardi Gras All-Star Jason Purdum.
is it just me, or does Brent’s team suck?
I could see Chuck becoming the next Bacchus Bowl legend, a la the Glass Bus, circa 2001.
I can’t wait to kill you guys in a mad game of whatever you play.. football????
Anyways Brents team has the advantage of a 23 yr old, you guys will be winded after 5 minutes of running.
I’m winded just thinking about running for 5 minutes.
We’re takin’ leslie
It’s because I’m fat right? You need a defensive lineman, don’t you. We can call me ‘Leslie The Refrigerator”.
Okay, I’m in.
Weighing in at a luxurious size of 150 pounds, Paul “The Panther” Soileau is sure to make your team shine. Agile and hungry like the wolf (or panther), Mr Soileau possesses the ability to sprint at amazing speeds while still maintaining his charm and grace. A pro at catching anything from behind and pouncing at a moments notice, this Panther, who is the official spokesmodel for Jack Daniels Sour Mash, is sure to win the Mardi Gras Cup and take his team to new heights and hopes of dreams to come. Let’s go!
5’4″ unspecified, fluctuating weight – former high school and college varsity athlete with a mind-blowing array of really bad excuses for why I didn’t catch it or understand the play. If you choose me, be prepared to explain in very simple terms what it is you want from me. For example – “run straight to the rock and turn left and run half way across the field, turn and face the quarterback” instead of some “dogleg to the left” crap. I can catch (mostly) and generally am good at getting in the way of the other team. I’m also more than willing to flash the opposition to create a distraction or just grab hold of someone to keep them from doing what it is they’re supposed to be doing – there aren’t referees, right? Oh, and my feelings will not be hurt if I’m picked last.
On a side note, I refuse to pay any money to see Papa Grows Funk.
Capn Jack, almost old, but game for most anything. Good backup, steady hands and feet, just can’t get a good grill going (too much wind). Wait til this year! Charcoal!
And if you call now, you’ll also receive an invite to Krewe du Vieux.org (Feb 3) Theme “Habitat for Insanity” and as a special offer from the Council to Revive Urban Decadent Entertainment-CRUDE will fly into the Cuckoo’s nest. Operators are standing by. BR549.
looks like we have the next pick. we will take poopy. in your face.
Marnie….not as old as Captain Jack, but in great condition….all that walking up and down stairs at school. If Captain Jack can ever get the grill going, I can do the cooking to keep up the team’s strength. Susan can be my able-bodied assistant, just as long as the Mikes Hard Lemonade holds out. I will provide my own margaritas……I have a pitcher on hold at Joe T. Garicia’s.
To mr unstoppable: Am heartbroken. After such beautiful postings from athletic people here on the list, you opt for the high school fashion of picking the “cool” kids who don’t post and leaving the “artistic” individuals in the last place. Thank goodness I carry a hanky to wipe my tears.
Dear Paul,
If I don’t take Poopy. Who will? He’s a disaster on the football field. A complete disaster. Someone like that needs to be built up, not taken last. Sometimes coaches have to do things that builds the man, as much as the player. I look at you and say “He’s got everything.” I look at John and say “He’s a distaster. A complete disaster.” What sort of coach would I be if I gave up on him. He’s a complete disaster. I know you will soar wherever you are. Which reminds me of a story. It’s called “The Greatest Bird.”
Once all the birds got together to see which one was the greatest. They decided that whichever could fly the highest would be considered the greatest. They all took to the sky, and each peaked out at different levels. Above the wrens, and the cardinals and the robins flew two birds: The hawk and the eagle. They each flew towards the heaven, and both topped out that the same altitude. But from below the other birds could just barely make out a small sparrow leaping from the back of the eagle and flying even higher than both of the other birds. The eagle had carried the bird with it, so that the sparrow could win the contest. The birds immediately crowned the Eagle the greatest of all birds.
Paul…that eagle is me, and that sparrow is John.
Also, the hawk is Dave. The wren is you. and the cardinal is Kent.
I think I understand. I will feed my wrens jack daniels in their sorrow and confusion and we will emerge a new species ready to fly to the greatest heights.
Dave and Kent select the lovely Lisa. A heavily-recruited tight end, Lisa brings a sense of much-needed class and dignity to the Fighting Purdumowski’s. Plus, man, talk about a fine piece of ass …
The Fighting Purdumowski’s
Kent
Dave
Thomas
Jason
Illy
Lisa
The Omahotties
Brent K.
Chuck
Chelsey
Leslie
Poopy
Players remaining: Catherine, Paul, Brent Joseph (?), Matt, Marnie, Jack, Kevin.
We will take Kevin, on the condition that he lets Chuck and I stretch him out before and after the game.
Will my standing in the selection rise if Paul finally paints the BBQ grill pink?
Paul, what shade of pink do I get from Sherwin Williams?
it’s on. however, to more appropriately represent ourselves as a team, i think we should change our name to the “mardi gras butt fuzz” (yes, i’ve seen every team members’ butts and they are all fuzzy).
Ok. It seems I am an eighth round pick in the annual Mardi Gras Bowl. I entered the draft late. No excuses. Although a newcomer to the bowl, Fat Matt from nasty nati is vying to make his name synonomous with drunken jukes and national championships. The 5’7 journalist comes with amazing resiliance to stay out till 5 a.m. and just hours laters, manage to catch a football with one hand while holding a whiskey bottle sloshing around in the othe hand. That’s intangible.Look for it. You can’t find that in a stat book. For those who stand in the way of team victory, the bottle can double as a excellent pass protection, free safety boost. Despite fat matt’s unhealthy diet of women, cigarettes and booze, the fattest skinny kid you ever met is still quick on his feet, and adept and bankable to leap, spin, dive, bleed, whatever it takes to win the championship game. After running the length of the football field and once in the endzone, healthy slugs from the bottle as a victory cheer greets all those on the team. Remember the juke last year on dave in the rain for a TD? Booyah!
I totally forgot about this great wave of technology called the internet that brings us this magnificant web site. Will visit often, until the crazy crew reunites for one city, one love, one great time and numerous stories.
nasty matty – that juke on dave was after everyone was running off the field for cover. but if it makes you feel better, we can leave it in the MG Bowl history books. glad to have you back.
I will paint the pitt! Screw this team pickin…I’m an artist. Jack, please get a shade that resembles Pepto bismal. We don’t want a hot pink, like the 80’s crap color. How’s that sound Marnie?
Based on the last entry, we will take Paul. Again – on the condition that Chuck and I can also stretch him out before and after the game. While Kevin watches and takes pics. Shirtless.
That is the color I have been waiting for….love you, Paul. Now is someone would just draft me!!!!!!
PS please take my name out of the draft….this shades of elementary school when I was always picked last. I will just enjoy my new pink grill.
Don’t worry Paul, that’s why they invented Dungeons and Dragons, so the last-picks of the world could become Sorcerors of the Universe! I’m Princess Fagina from the enchanted land of Whackyourselfia.
I still say my feelings will not be hurt if I’m picked last. They might be hurt if I’m not picked at all. However, I have a backup plan – Marnie and I can be cheerleaders! Either that or we can heckle from the stands. Go Saints!
I like that plan ….count me in. I am getting my Pompoms ready. That should be a sight to behold.
Ile to most Illy to others..5’10” 180..Skills include: taking one to the face ( get that thought right out of your minds) and not crying about it, whispering ego crushing sweet nothings into the opposing player’s ears right before a game winning catch and/or in the huddle, great follow up–pretending to take sweet nothings back and apologize–to get in there and touch and/or steal ball, invisibility- i.e, “she’s a girl–she can’t catch/throw/ block”, getting the job done, enuf said