Category: General

General posts.

Handicapped Jerk Handler

Yesterday the wife and I were on our way home from a firework display by our house. While we were on one of those little ramps that goes from the intersection to the sidewalk, I noticed that I had to tie my shoe. So I bent over for literally like 5 seconds to resecure the laces, so I didn’t trip and kill myself. Well, I’m not down there 3 seconds, when I hear “Excuse me.”

I look up and it’s a woman pushing another woman in a wheelchair. She needs the ramp. That’s fine. But why can’t she wait like 2 more seconds. She can see what I’m doing. It’s not like I’m setting up camp. I’m tying my freaking shoe. Let me finish up, and I will be out of your way. There was no poisonous gas seeping down on us. Just a person who feels like she doesn’t have to wait. I guess I’m just saying handicapped people think they are royalty in our country. And they should all be killed.

Foods I Enjoy That Most People Think Are Gross

1) McDonalds – I love McDonalds. It is my theory that everyone loves McDonalds, but no one wants to admit it.

2) Little Chocolate Donuts, aka Donettes – For one, if I ever started a band, we would be called the Donettes. The chocolate tastes like wax, yet they are still so good.

3) Cold Coffee – I like coffee after it is no longer hot. I attribute this to laziness.

4) Sausage in mass quantities – I can’t eat just one.

5) Beef stick and cream cheese – Good and good for you.

6) Any variety of meat fat (steak, bacon, ham, what-have-you) – The fat is the best part of all meat. Wake up, people.

7) Twinkies – It’s great the way these were good enough for all of you when you were a kid, but now you think you are too cool.

8) Rare meat – Someday I will die of a parasite or something. Then we’ll see who’s smart.

Actually this list isn’t very extensive, but I was able to eat 3 Donettes while I wrote it.