Rebecca Havemeyer tries to be’s smart!

Oh it’s a rough road these days! So much so that ya’ ol pal Rebecca is tacklin’ the cheap and entertaining world of Trivia for the chunk’n’dunk town of Austin, Texas! Booya! An evening filled with vaudevillian vacuums of entertainment, live bands, live artists on display, and live living throughout. It’s the first time for a 4 week run of a Rebecca show, and it’s packed with enough stanky hullabalooo to leave a mark on all who attend. Wish my Buzzards were here…. Missin my buzzards, so dear.

Dave’s top 10 ways to tell his friends that he’s going to be a daddy

10. Dudes, I got SO laid.
9. Hole in one!
8. Apparently, butt babies do live. (Sorry, I’m gross)
7. Guys, I’m outta here. Take care of this baby for me.
6. I totally recommend doing it with pregnant chicks.
5. Experimenting with pot does not make you infertile.
4. I want to have a sit-down with each of you about safe sex.
3. Congratulations, it’s not you that I knocked up.
2. While trying to come up with the ultimate Mardi Gras bead attracter, I envisioned a 3-month-old stuffed inside a Saints can koozie. So I made one.
1. I should have made the choice to be gay.

Due date: Dec. 11.

Dear Atlanta Citizen,

We regret to inform you that you cannot purchase a house within the city limits, due to the following regrettable factors:

  1. You want to live inside the Perimeter.
  2. You don’t want to pay more than you can afford.
  3. You want to be able to get to public transportation.
  4. You want to take advantage of government-funded first-time homebuyer’s downpayment assistance.
  5. You don’t want to get shot.
  6. You want the house to be in liveable condition.

Please remedy one of more of these requirements, and we will most certainly reconsider your future with us.

In the meantime, we suggest you try Cobb or Gwinnett counties.  We hear that Applebee’s is a great place to hang out on the weekends, and that racism is still in style there.

Yours truly, and go fuck yourself,

The City of Atlanta