Hell Sounds Like Pantera

Pantera

I was working out the other day, and listening to Tom Waits. I started thinking how great it would be if the devil’s voice sounded like Tom Waits when you went to hell. (I’m not a big believer in hell, but I really think you are selling yourself short by ruling that place out.) Anywho, then I got to thinking about what the music in hell would be. My first thought waas that it would be some horrible cacophony, but then I realized that it would probably be a more personal experience. Which means it would probably be some music that I really hate. So I took a quick survey of the music I hate the most, and decided it would probably be some sort of death metal. Something like Pantera (And I don’t know anything about that music, so if Pantera is technically not death metal, I apologize.) So I think this sucks. Because I bet Pantera hopes their music gets played in hell. And I’m making that happen. Here, I would like to wipe that music off the face of the earth, and instead I am assuring it will go on until the end of time. Unless a) I don’t wind up in hell b) I am wrong about hell’s music or c) they don’t actually play music in hell. Now that I think about it, they probably don’t. And also, I think there is a chance Christian Rock would beat out death metal for my hell music. How ironic would that be? Michael W. Smith adding to my damnation. Hell seems like a bad place. They do specials about it on The History Channel all the time. It really looks lousy down there. It’s making me re-evaluate my beliefs. I have given myself 3 months to sort out my belief in hell. Then I’m going to do something about it. I don’t really care about Heaven. I’m sure it will be dissappointing like everything else that’s supposed to be great. One time Chelsey and Chuck and I went to Chicago. We looked forward to it for months in advance. It turned out to be a nightmare. That’s what heaven will be like for someone like me. Everyone will be happy, and I’ll be looking around and wondering why it’s not as good as I thought it was going to be. Getting back to the point. I have 3 months to decide about hell. Please feel free to forward me any information on the subject. However I will mostly be searching me heart and mind. I hope to have an answer by some time after the holidays.

Homosexuals

A high school student in Atlanta recently wrote a column in the school newspaper, criticizing homosexuals and even going to the extent of calling them “reproductive errors.”

For the record, I believe homosexuality is a choice; otherwise, I believe science would have discovered a common trait among gay people by now.

I understand that my belief is offensive to homosexuals. I’m not really sure why. Paul tried to explain it to me one time, but I don’t think I ever really grasped the concept.
He also tried to answer my other big question about homosexuals: If gay men like men, why do some often dress like women and act feminine? But, again, I’m not really sure of his answer.

(Disclaimer: I apologize beforehand if I’m offending anyone. It is not my attention.)

The student, Thomas Benjamin, wrote: “I realize biology commits many reproductive errors. Homosexuality can be one of them.”

Do you think homosexuality is a choice or a biological error or neither? Do you have a problem with the school paper publishing the article? Do you have a problem with me?

K-Ville

What a steaming pile of crap that show is.  Bad acting, bad writing, and bad plots that all seem to revolve around some kind of sketchy real estate deal to buy up poor folks’ homes in the East or the Lower Ninth Ward.

This week’s episode was even better because they needed to include the Mexican immigrants in the plot.  Apparently, there are no cars in New Orleans, and the laborers needed to bring in the Latin Kings gang to organize rides to job sites.  Just a bad, bad show all around.

In a related note, thank you New England Patriots for sucking every bit of joy out of Monday Night Football.  I had zero interest in watching them dismantle the Bengals and watched stupid K-Ville instead.  Thanks.

Cheaters.

Conde Nast has an article about Rita Benson LeBlanc, future owner of the Saints. Tom Benson can’t retire soon enough.

 

Rita Benson LeBlanc

The city’s pro-football fans—the ones Benson LeBlanc took by storm—hope she tells her grandfather something like what Saints coaches tell potential free agents: Move the team and become just another owner; stay and become a hometown hero. “The question is how much being beloved is worth to Benson,” says Matheson.

It may be worth less to Benson than to his granddaughter. After all, he takes concessions; she makes them. Benson LeBlanc says a shiny new stadium would be nice, but she’s not “pushing hardcore” for one. “There are no mandates from the club,” she says, sounding like the anti-Benson. “Any proposal would have to go beyond just a mere facility and involve reclaiming property that was devastated by Katrina. We’re trying to do everything we can to bring prosperity and economic investment to New Orleans.”

http://www.portfolio.com/executives/features/2007/09/17/Rita-LeBlanc-Benson-Saints#page1

Damien Jurado is Skinny

As part of my ongoing series on musicians gaining or losing weight, I would just like to point out that Damien Jarado has lost a ton of weight. He’s like the reverse Greg Dulli.
Before:
Before

After:
After

My brother yelled “You look great!” at the concert. Damien ignored him.

Okkerville River also played. They appeared to be about the same size as last year.